I was on Omegle LiveChat and there was this guy with an inhumanly stiff dick he was wiggling with his hand in his pants and I told him it was unhealthy to keep a cucumber in your pants and he burst out laughing and took out a real cucumber. He said he wouldn’t flash on Omegle ever again. I hope so because that was totally bogus.

This book was a significant part of my childhood. I can still recite it.

"She was not afraid of mice. She loved winter, snow and ice. To the tiger at the zoo, Madeline just said ‘poo-poo’. And nobody knew so well how to frighten Miss Clavell!"

(Source: twinkleestar07, via roselikesenglish)

Highway from Quebec City to Montreal
Spring 2013

Highway from Quebec City to Montreal

Spring 2013

Until The End

 Y’know some people reserve PTSD for soldiers and not kids who were abused by graduate-school educated adults paid by taxpayers to educate kids. That’s total bullshit. I figured out I had PTSD only two or three years ago, but my psychologist figured it out pretty quickly and didn’t think I was ready to know. She was right. I would have killed myself when I was more convinced I would.

I live to die another day

Until I fade away

            The longest time I’ve gone without getting triggered in my harmless everyday routine was about two weeks. It’s not my fault, nor is it anyone else’s but those people who did that bad stuff to me.

Why give up, why give in?

It’s not enough, it never is

            Two weeks was a really long time. I get triggered at a minimum of twice a week these days. Depending on how bad the trigger is, I might freak out and have to stop whatever I’m doing.

Surround me, it’s easy to fall apart completely

I feel you creeping up again (in my head)

            I can get triggered really easily. Someone says something that reminds me of something I heard from a bad person four to seven years ago, I’ll have no choice but to remember it and not let it go.

It’s over, no longer, I feel it growing colder

I knew this day would come to end

So let this life begin

            But compared to three years ago, I’ve been pretty good handling the triggers when it’s important. It’s still hard, but I’m doing it.

I’ve lost my way, I’ve lost my way

 But I will go on until the end

            However, when I have too much downtime and nothing to think about, I begin to think back and can’t stop, no matter what I do. Quite often, it’s to the reason I left public school. A principal who was sort of fired for screwing up the entire school. Although there’s absolutely no way she can touch me ever again, I remember her and the terrible things she did. It gets in the way with my life sometimes.

Living is hard enough without you fucking up

She won’t get her satisfaction, though. She’s aware that what she did was wrong and she paid the price for it, and I’m thriving for the first time in my entire life in school.

I’ve lost my way, I’ve lost my way

But I will go on until the end

            Maybe I’ll never get rid of the PTSD. I can’t possibly imagine being thirty years old and not stopping to think about how shitty my early education was. And I know there will be more obstacles to come, but if everyone else still alive can survive it, so can I.

The final fight I win

The final fight I win

The final fight I win

            I got this.

But I will go on until the end.